This book has been the longest project I’ve ever worked on. It’s such an enormous part of me and I mean to see it through. But this Coronavirus outbreak (Covid-19), has really stretched me out thin. Like Bilbo Baggins said, “Like butter, scraped over too much bread.”
Being in isolation can wreak havoc on one’s mind. I’ve spent a lot of time alone (though some time in some wonderful company too), chastising myself for all the shortcomings I’ve had over the years. Poor grades, late to graduate, slow career climb – you name it. I’ve sat down whilst editing my book and being extremely self-critical. They often say the harshest critic is yourself and I can definitely attest to that under the circumstances. I’ve been rather cruel.
I live in a house share where all but one has left. I never see him due to the work hours so the small confines of my bedroom is now my bastion. I work here. I eat here. I edit/read/blog. I watch my TV here and I sleep here. In some regards, it’s like a self-imposed prison, a sort of double caging with the Government lockdown imposed here in the UK. It’s no wonder, what with my strict diet not to drink or eat too much crap, I’ve felt lack of motivation to work on my book, let alone feel chirpy!
There’s hope that other budding authors like myself aren’t beating themselves up too much right now. Writing the first book is tough. To build up a world and polish it to a professional standard, all whilst working a full-time job. It’s almost impossible. Life isn’t a simple trip down the road. It forks off, meandering through the woods and takes shortcuts and detours. You get stuck in the brambles; sometimes fall down a hole or two. Most of all it’s important not to self-reflect so much and being so melancholic, as is typical for us writing, tortured souls. Atypical.
In all, it’s been a right struggle this last week or more. I wonder how I’ll fair for the rest of this apocalypse? I wouldn’t be surprised if these blogs start to ramble a little bit more. The quality may also dip along with my sanity. Could make for a good read?!